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For educational purposes only.  Offer void where prohibited by law.  Some assembly required.  Certain restrictions may apply.  Batteries not included.  See store for details.  Contents may settle during shipment.  No purchase necessary to win!  Use only as directed.  No other warranty expressed or implied.  Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.  Postage will be paid by addressee.  Subject to CAB approval.  This is not an offer to sell securities.  Apply only to affected area.  May be too intense for some viewers.  Do not stamp.  Use other side for additional listings.  For recreational use only.  Do not disturb.  All models over 18 years of age.  If condition persists, consult your physician.  No user-serviceable parts inside.  Freshest if eaten before date on carton.  Subject to change without notice.  Times approximate.  Simulated picture.  No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.  Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.  For off-road use only.  Not to be carried out as treatment on someone else's body.  As seen on TV.  One size fits all.  Many suitcases look alike.  Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.  Colors may fade.  We have sent the forms which seem right for you.  Slippery when wet.  For office use only.  Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.  Drop in any mailbox.  Edited for television.  Keep cool; process promptly.  Post office will not deliver without postage.  List was current at time of printing.  Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.  Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.  At participating locations only.  Not the Beatles.  Penalty for private use.  See label for sequence.  Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write below this line.  Falling rock.  Lost ticket pays maximum rate.  Your canceled check is your receipt.  All results are delayed 20 minutes.  Place stamp here.  Avoid contact with skin.  Please remain seated until the ride has come to a full and complete stop.  Sanitized for your protection.  Be sure each item is properly endorsed.  Sign here without admitting guilt.  Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.  Employees and their families are not eligible.  Beware of dog.  Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.  Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.  You must be present to win.  No passes accepted for this engagement.  Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.  Shading within a garment may occur.  Use only in a well-ventilated area.  Keep away from fire or flames.  Replace with same type.  Approved for veterans.  Booths for two or more.  Check here if tax deductible.  Some equipment shown is optional.  Price does not include taxes.  No Canadian coins.  Not recommended for children.  Prerecorded for this time zone.  Reproduction strictly prohibited.  No solicitors.  No alcohol, dogs, or horses.  No anchovies unless otherwise specified.  Restaurant package, not for resale.  List at least two alternate dates.  First pull up, then pull down.  Call toll free number before digging.  Driver does not carry cash.  Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.  Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.  Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.  Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.  Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.  No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.  Package sold by weight, not volume.  The following is a paid commercial program; this station does not endorse or promote the products shown in this program.  Your mileage may vary.  Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

This supersedes all previous notices.  Date: [UNDEFINED]

This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whomever we stole it from.
 ©2003 Happy Waldo.